My oldest memories are from when I was 1. Fragmented, of course, but ever present. I recall a pen in which my father would leave me while he attended hour-long shifts at the clinic, dropping in to check on me every now and then. My mother died during childbirth. The few memorabilia that he kept included an old scrap of paper - a snippet from the holy bible. “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. I will give unto him that is athirst of the fountain of the water of life freely. -Revelations 21:7” It was my mother’s favourite verse from the bible. My father valued that scrap beyond anything.
On my 10th birthday, my childhood friend, Amata, threw me a surprise party. You can only image what sort of a party it would have been inside an isolated community of less than 200 members. My friend, my father, my bully and the Overseer. Well, to be fair, the effort was well spent and there were a few other well wishers, but none that really mattered to me. Other than Jonas, I suppose. He was my father’s friend and colleague at the clinic.
As I turned to leave with my father, the Overseer pulled me aside.
“Kid, how old are you turning today?” he asked in an authoritative yet benevolent manner.
“10, sir,” I managed to murmur.
“Well, 10 is the big year for all members of our little Vault. Here’s your Pipboy. It’s the Pipboy-3000. You’ll get your first job tomorrow.”
He thrust a small electronic devices into my hand. My elation surpassed any known measure. In the thrill of the party, I had forgotten that today was the day on which I was officially given a working rank in the Vault.
That wasn’t the only gift I got though. Amata gifted me “Grognak the Barbarian #1”. It was the perfect edition to my comic book collection. Stanley, a maintenance technician and dad’s friend, gave me a Baseball glove.
My father gifted me a BB gun. Jonas had set it up just for me. He took me to a small shooting range he had put up for me in the basement. I spent hours there shooting the round metal targets.
I took the standard test at 15, like everyone. On my way to the exam hall, I saw Butch and his gang troubling Amata. They called themselves “The Tunnel Snakes”. I rushed to her side. Butch swung the first punch, and I responded in kind. Mr. Brotch heard the commotion and broke us off. It was a typical day.
The exam itself was quite straightforward. At the end, Mr. Brotch called me up to him and gave me his prognosis — a doctor like my father. I disagreed though.
Three years passed. Things went bad one fine morning. I had been resting after a long night working on the water purification filter. My exhaustion had almost defeated my sense of responsibility, but I had prevailed. I was shaken awake. For a moment, her face just hung there above mine. As I reached out a hand to touch her skin, I recognised the expression of distress that contorted her beautiful brow and noticed the dew-like tears that had started rolling down her flawless cheeks, and I realised the gravity of the situation.
“Amata! What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” was all I could manage before she burst out.
“Jonas… Your dad… You need to go.”
“What’s going on? Where’s dad?”
“Your dad’s gone. Jonas… They killed Jonas.”
And that was all that she managed before her emotions and the shock encompassed her. She fell into my arms and muffled her sobs in my shoulder. I wrapped my arms around her.
“Calm down, Amata. It’s going to be alright. Now calmly tell me what happened,” I whispered into her ear.
“Your dad…” she replied into my shoulder. “He opened the gate and left. Father killed Jonas during interrogation.”
I had always been quick to respond in such dire situations, but this caught me off guard. By then, however, Amata had composed herself, saving me front the repercussions of my potential inaction.
“It’s all going to hell. Other people are talking of leaving too. I’m scared. You need to go. They’ll come after you.” As she fired off the staccato of words in short, crisp bursts, I realised that there was no time to second guess. She pulled away from my embrace and wiped a tear on the back of her hand.
“You need to go. NOW!” She grabbed my hand and dragged me towards the door. “They’re guarding the exit. You’ll need to use the tunnel in Father’s office.”
With little more than a nod, I pulled on my jumpsuit. Totally unprepared for such a situation, I had no convention to follow. I turned to Amata and saw her looking at something in her hand. Grabbing my hand, she thrust a heavy, malformed chunck of cold metal into my palm. It was a 10mm pistol with live round. It’s weight in my hand was nothing compared to its weight in my heart. My fingers automatically formed around the grip but hesitated from the trigger.
“Please don’t use it unless necessary…” The sadness in her eyes tore through my heart like the bullets from the pistol. “I… I love you.” Pulling her close, i lightly pressed my lips on hers. I had imagined this kiss a thousand times before. The unfortunate moment that had eventually brought it around made me chuckle at the irony. After a few aeons, or a single fleeting moment, she pulled back.
“I love you too.” I shoved the pistol in my jumpsuit’s holster and turned towards the door.
The Vault was full of activity, but none wonted. I could hear the horrible orchestra of tragedy. Shouts and screams were backed by the buzz of tasers and the wails of alarms. I ran through the corridors towards the main hall. The guards were too busy beating the revolting residents to even notice me.
The clinic door was lying open. I peered inside. A humanoid mass of red, blue and white lay on the ground. The blood flowed from Jonas’s lab coat onto the floor. It took me a moment to realise that the chunks of blood were actually shards of his brain, blown out by a bullet shot at point blank. Maybe it had been fired from the same pistol strapped to my waist. My adrenaline carried my away from the mutilated corpse of one of the only three people I called my own in the world and towards my dad’s terminal on his desk. I typed in the password I had memorised so long ago. He never changed it. He would never change it again.
Logging in, I felt a pang of guilt as I saw the words “To my son” on top of the interface. I opened the letter.
“My dear son,
I am so sorry. I must leave. After your mother’s death, I had given up everything I had ever lived for to devote myself to you. Now that you’ve grown into a strong young man, I feel that my calling has come. I must return to my work. Please don’t try to look for me. And remember, I love you.
Your dad”
Tears welled up inside me, but my purpose kept a check on them. I had to go after him! I chuckled at the thought of being the rebellious teenager once again. I crept on to the Overseer’s chambers.
There was nowhere to hide now, and nowhere else to go. I did the only logical thing at that moment. Given another chance, I would have definitely played it out different. I pulled out the pistol and barged in.
The chief of security charged towards me with crackling taser. As the knight bore down on me, my instincts sent a shock to my spine, through my arm and into my hands. With the loud crack of the 10mm, the chief fell to the fell backwards, his momentum reversed.
I turned to the Overseer. He was a true leader at that moment. He showed neither fear nor regret at the face of the barrel of his own pistol.
“I’m leaving the Vault. Give me the key to your office.” I spoke sternly.
“You’re going nowhere. Put down your weapon, kid.”
“I’m going to find my father. Give me the key!”
“You’re a traitor. Just like your father and that Jonas.”
In a moment of loss of sense, I channelled my anger and frustration into my finger. This time, the mess was just blue and red. The noise, however, wasn’t just the blow of my handheld cannon. Amara’s scream filled the room. As the body of her father hit the ground, Amata looked at me in disbelief and shock.
In that moment, I lost the third person I loved. Jonas was dead and father had left me, and in a mere moment, Amata’s look turned for worry and concern to shock and disbelief, and then to a resigned hatred.
She ran past me. I followed her. I found her in her room, sobbing in her bed.
“I’m sorry, Amata,” was all that I managed.
“You have the key. Now just go and never come back again.”
A sense of loss and regret overtook me. What have you done!, I screamed at myself.
~~~~~~~~~
I unplugged the tether. Running the commands, I saved the game before quitting it. Fallout 3 in self-rendered VR was just too real for me.
